The Blame Finger

Blame is a feeling that inherently takes away. It takes away personal accountability and shifts responsibility off of one’s shoulders. Blame is a powerful feeling and is not beneficial for getting where we want to be in life. By choosing to blame others, we are giving them the power in how our minds shape the perception of our own lives. Where we point the blame finger, it gains all of the power. Consequently, when we point that finger, we lose our power in shaping the situations ourselves. By blaming others, we choose to be secondary characters in the creation of our own lives.

If you spend your life blaming your parents for any misfortune in your life, that is a way to hide from any responsibility you have had in shaping your own life. Your parents getting a divorce, your parents pushing you toward a career path, or them not being there for you when you felt you needed them absolutely had an impact on you; there is no denying that. But any particular reason you feel they have wronged you did not specifically dictate the rest of your life. Your parents did not make you fail that course in college; your actions did. Your parents did not make you gain twenty pounds; your actions did. Your parents did not make you become a smoker; your actions did. For whatever reason you think the blame should be pointed elsewhere, there is a pretty high chance that the real blame and responsibility can be reflected on yourself.

The example of blaming parents was used because it is common to have children blame their misfortunes on their upbringing. The finger of blame can be pointed at anyone and is commonly used in daily life. With significant others, with teachers, with coaches, with that random person who cut you off while driving, it is much easier to point the blame finger at someone else instead of taking personal accountability and responsibility. Your girlfriend did not make you sleep in; you chose not to get up early. Your teacher was not trying to trick you on the test; you chose not to study for as long as you needed to. Your coach played someone else over you, not because they had a bias, but because your actions showed you did not deserve to play. Almost any situation of blame can be broken down so that self-accountability is taken.

Once the blame finger is conquered and blame is not automatically reflected outward, you have control over your life. When life becomes no one else’s fault but your own, you can look inward and honestly assess what changes need to be made and what a path forward is. Stop looking for people to blame and start accepting that your actions predict your scenario. Refuse to use the blame finger and take its power away. Become accountable for your actions and build a better tomorrow for yourself.